From the author: Full text on the portal!! We have a number of tests ahead.!! First of all, the gastrointestinal tract. everyone will have to: A) - congratulate (by the way, you need money for gifts) B) - drink during congratulations C) - if there are a lot of congratulatory cards in the organizer, then you will also have to eat so as not to land your face on the horizon ahead of time. Secondly - you will have to answer questions from the congratulators. Why: A) - you still live with your parents, with the cat, at home alone, but without a man B) - why did you get divorced, why didn’t you get married, why didn’t you give birth, or gave birth, but only one child C) - you you won’t get a cat if you don’t have the intelligence to have at least one lover. Thirdly, you’ll have to explain to yourself, but only then why: A) - you answered all the questions B) - you came up with so many congratulatory cards, and spent a lot of money on all sorts of heresy , instead of buying new panties. B) - well, actually, why the hell are you sitting at the TV again, watching the script of someone else’s happiness for the one hundred and twenty-seventh time, and gobbling, no, you’re just already eating like a female boar. You think, will you be able to eat your feelings of guilt, fertilized by the complexes: A) - Excellent student, B) - Bad mother/daughter, C) - Cinderella? So, now, what are we going to do? First, we won’t eat, starting on the 31st. How to do it? Imagine your most gorgeous man. Even if you have never touched him, and this is the same Brad Pitt. Next, take him mentally and sit next to you at the table. Angelina will forgive, believe me, he is already in one place. So, did you plant it? Now imagine that you need to please him. The evening is clear that you will put on your most beautiful and tight-fitting dress in front of him, which does not involve the absorption of carbohydrates and fats in immense quantities. And it means pecking on a small piece of protein in the form of baked chicken or fish with vegetables and a glass of dry, expensive red wine. One piece, one glass and constant control over the impression you make on him. It is this semi-schizophrenia that will save you until the morning from the usual gluttonous formula “I am the most unfortunate (further according to the above mentioned points that you voiced to your congratulators) Now it’s January. On the first, the body will sleep. Let him sleep. He will wake up. Let him pamper himself and again mentally turn on the scenario “There is a gorgeous man next to me.” Naturally, everything needs to be presented in the smallest detail. Both his tender and smooth, unfrozen body, and his amazing and carefully shaved surface. Although, the latter is whatever you like. Then, after “wild and unrestrained sex”, exercise, shower and self-massage, you can afford a salad, and okay, to hell with it, another half a glass of dry stuff. Then hair styling, makeup and off to the fields. To the street, to the nearest park, or even to the cinema. Yeah, did you think that you could lie on the sofa again, surrounded by salad bowls and plates? And look at someone else’s happiness in the “best Soviet films” format? No. And once again nain. In the year of the dragon, drastic changes await you. We start with a food diet, and then move on to a mental diet. And we dig into where the following commands come from: - If I do this, what will they think of me: my mom, my dad, my children , my cat, my neighbors - If I do this, then my colleagues will consider me a careerist who goes over my head - If I tell him that this is not possible with me, then he will leave me, and I will be left completely alone. - If I start If I eat less, I’ll get thinner and I’ll have to change my wardrobe. - If I change my wardrobe, I’ll have to continue changing my thoughts, and also start doing what I want. I've been wanting it for a long time. But I just can’t begin to allow myself to do this. Because then you will have to live your script. And bear full and unconditional responsibility for your actions. And don’t snivel, and don’t blame everyone I’m with for my own ass.