From the author: This article is based on the book by J. Hollis “Dreams of Eden, or in search of the Good Wizard.” I think each of us knows the myth of the lost paradise, the Garden of Eden. And I also dare to suggest that this myth evokes in the soul of each of us a feeling of almost indescribable, elusive homesickness. But as J. Hollis writes: “We probably no longer have that home to which we could return. We cannot return to our mother's womb, although we try to do so, and only very few of us believe in the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, we always live a homeless life, whether we realize it or not.” Where to look for this home? Where can we feel that we are loved and accepted, where our desires and needs are very sensitive to, where our actions evoke approval, and where our difficulties receive support and help? Where can we hide from all adversity? I think many people have a picture of a family, a beloved spouse, loving children and parents. I assume that a very large percentage of those who seek psychological help are those who come to sort out their relationships. Here is a girl from whom her third groom is running away. Here is a woman who lives with her alcoholic husband and suffers from his drinking and aggression. Here is a young man who cannot get rid of his suspicion of his wife, checks her phone and spies on her. Why in the secret place of our heart lies the dream of a home where our loved ones are waiting for us and love us, but in life we ​​are unable to realize this dream? What prevents this? In order to understand this, let's try to penetrate into the essence of what moves us on the path to this cherished dream, what creates the reality in which we live and with which we are not satisfied. J. Hollis writes: “Another great false idea that has taken possession of the minds of people is the dream of the Good Wizard. It is based on the belief that there is a person who is created just for us: he will make our life meaningful and interesting and correct the shortcomings that exist in it. He will live only for us, read our thoughts and satisfy our deepest needs. He will be a kind parent who will protect us from suffering, and will save us, if we are lucky, from the very dangerous journey of individuation.” When we fall in love with a person and decide to throw in our lot with him, it is more than likely that our choice is driven by belief in some image of the person we fell in love with. This image, according to analytical psychology, is charged with the energy of our mental complexes, formed in childhood under the influence of our interactions with our first close people: mom and dad. Thus, the choice of a life partner is influenced by personal history. “We should not forget the ancient wisdom: beware of getting what you want. This wise advice is followed by depth psychology: we could only get what our complex, our unconscious individual history, our unlived life wants. And then relationships formed on such a vicious basis can only become a stage for acting out this tragic scenario with which they are secretly connected,” writes J. Hollis. Thus, at some point, our partner throws off the mask of the “Good Wizard”; he cannot bear such a heavy burden. Yes, this is not natural for a person: to bear the burden of the Good Wizard. Let me give you an example from my life: recently my husband and I watched Titanic, where the main character Leonardo DiCaprio shows a typical “Good Wizard”, the dream of any woman: he saved her from suicide, she was worried throughout the film that she was unhappy with her fiancé, he drew her , amused and was generally completely absorbed by the heroine. In the end, he gave his life for her and, already freezing in the icy ocean, whispered words of love to her. After the film, I asked my husband: did he want to be in the place of the main character? After thinking, the husband replied that no, he would not like to. This, I think, is the answer of any adequate man. The Good Wizard only appears in romantic films and fairy tales. For man.