The policy of non-intervention is becoming a fashionable topic..."This is someone else's business. We were not asked. We were not asked for advice. And in general, until it touched me, I was sitting on my butt." It’s familiar, after all. , really? How can you generally differentiate where you should intervene and where you shouldn’t? Let’s say the neighbors behind the wall are beating a child. Or maybe your spouse is doing it. Systematically. What to do? Can you intervene? Of course yes. And in various other situations you can too. But (!) here a selfish question arises. How does this interference in someone else's life affect you? And this is a valid question. And a valid question. The instinct of self-preservation has not been canceled! Thoughts about possible retribution certainly whisper to you to stay on the side. And what’s worse, you can, unnoticed by yourself, begin to justify aggression by retreating into psychological defenses. On the other hand, a large number of client stories are literally built on a feeling of abandonment. I’ve heard many times about what others saw but were afraid of. They saw and did not protect. They saw it and didn’t even try to talk about what happened. As if it doesn't exist. This is the most offensive thing for the victim! The victim can understand the fear, can understand why they didn’t intervene... But it’s very difficult to understand why they didn’t admit what they were seeing. Why didn't they say that the victim didn't think so? That she is not crazy. Seeing the same thing and talking about it, sharing the pain is already a colossal support. It is very difficult for a victim of abuse to explain that someone else’s defenses have worked like that (repression, denial, rationalization, etc.). There is one question. I felt it! I'm a victim! It's 100 times harder for me! I'm not crazy! And the witnesses, who felt much better, went to the defense! How can it be? Sorry, but on the part of the victim, this is simply ridiculous. Therefore... You may not have the strength to intervene directly, to cover it with your body. But what you can definitely do is stop pretending that nothing happened. Stop pretending that everything is fine. That's how it should be. Stop making excuses for rapists, even if they are your closest relatives. And most importantly, you can tell the victim that...1. You see this too and what doesn’t seem to her. 2. That it’s not her fault, no matter what the rapist tells her. If it’s yours, resolve the situation quickly. Go away. Change your place of residence. If it’s not yours, look for associates. Surely someone has more experience than you. The victim needs help, but those who decide to help need it too. Take care of yourself! ❤️2023-03-22