In psychoanalysis, there are a number of principles by which our lives are built. As a rule, this is a person’s independent choice of what principles to rely on in his life. And one of them is the principles of reality and pleasure. Which principle should be chosen as the main one? On the one hand, we hear the statements “Love yourself!”, “Do not deny yourself pleasant things!”, “Pamper yourself and be sure to let yourself relax!” They are all true, but you should not think that you should live only according to the principle of pleasure. To begin with, let us note that pleasure is usually short-term, and this principle does not imply long-term effective results. It assumes that we do not put off doing things that we really like, and act immediately as soon as the need arises. The reality principle is the opposite of the pleasure principle and dictates that we should postpone pleasant things when the situation demands it. Pleasant things are allowed to be done when external circumstances favor it. At the same time, by waiting a little with pleasure, we get much more - long-term satisfaction. In the end, we enjoy even more because we are pleased with the results and prospects. Here is what psychoanalyst Alexander Lowen writes about the principles of reality and pleasure “The reality principle is relatively opposite to the pleasure principle, since it requires accepting and maintaining a state of tension and displeasure, postponing pleasure in accordance with external circumstances. In response, the reality principle guarantees that such actions will lead to even greater pleasure or help avoid even greater suffering in the future (A. Lowen, “Body Language”). Live in reality and don’t be afraid to deny yourself something pleasant when circumstances require it. You only postpone pleasure for a while, but at the same time you only win. Yes, living according to the principle of reality requires a lot of effort, but it is worth the rewards that can be obtained as a result.