Weak father figure and its negative consequences. One of the functions of the father in the life of the family is to help in the separation of the child from the mother. If the father figure is weak or completely absent, then the mother in most cases will not let the child go out on his own. When one of the partners psychologically remains the child of his parents, then the second partner no longer comes as an equal, as the creator of his own family system, but as the youngest member of an already existing parental system. It is more difficult for him to take his place next to his partner, because the parents will constantly return in addition to a “childish” state. And the “children” themselves do not have enough skills to maintain an adult position. An example from the practice of a psychologist (generalized): Sergey and Olga live in the apartment of her parents, who live across the street. Sveta often visits her parents - she stops by to enjoy some goodies, walks the dogs, and goes shopping with them. Parents help the young people as best they can: they gave their daughter an apartment, a car, and donated money for pins. And how can she not help if her husband, a young specialist, cannot afford such expensive purchases, and Olechka is just studying? There can be no talk of a child yet - let them have some fun and still have time. Sergei is worried that in any conflict he turns out to be to blame: Olga runs to her parents for support, the spouses do not solve problems that arise together. In addition, he feels humiliated when his wife brags about another gift from her parents. Thus, the lack of separation makes it difficult to build strong marital relationships in a new family. Problems will arise with renewed vigor until the husband, following his wife, accepts the role of a child in her parental system or the spouse makes an attempt to separate from his parents. The birth of a child in a new family will only complicate the situation; the father will form a coalition with his daughter or son, which will cause marital dysfunction. If a mother-child coalition is formed, there will be no place left for the father in the system and everything will happen again. In my practice as a systemic family psychologist, I come across such cases very often, and working with such families is very difficult, since the ancestral system by any means resists the formation of a new, separate family. But everything is possible if the spouses have a motive to be together and move towards a shared future! Further, in my publications throughout the year, I will cover the functionality of the Father figure in our society. Sincerely your psychologist Alexander Timofeev. You can sign up for a consultation here!