Friends, greetings! Often in my practice I encounter the phenomenon “now you are an adult,” I mean those messages to a child when at first the child is told for quite a long time that he must obey his elders. But behind this very act of obeying your elders may be hidden total submission, deprivation of the child’s choice, word, opinion (messages “you live in my house and there is nothing of yours here”, “but they didn’t give you a word”, “you want to get too hungry”, etc.). We will omit why this happens, but if you are interested, write in the comments and I will expand this part as well. And now, after many years of childhood, where the child hears that he must be obedient and do everything he is told, and his opinion is never heard. For example, school ends and an already grown teenager goes to university or high school, and here many teenagers are faced with the fact that now they are adults and must decide for themselves, choose for themselves, be responsible for something. And at this point the child may have a lot of feelings of confusion, because the child does not understand how it is. What does it mean - to choose for yourself, to decide on your own, to choose a profession. And he is already met with misunderstanding of the parent, sometimes irritation and aggression due to what he does not do. It is interesting to note that in these messages an order again appears. But at first there was a lot of “don’t do it”, but it was replaced by “let’s do it faster.” In my practice, I meet many clients who are especially confused after graduating from university. Because the university is the last structure where a child is told what he should do. And then the diploma and all the celebratory speeches “now you are going to the adult world.” But many people are not ready for this, and often precisely because they have a lot of experience in their lives where they have to do what others tell them. And there is very little experience where they gained individual experience with mistakes and successes. In addition to confusion, of course, the often unconscious feeling towards adulthood is fear and horror. And then the freezing reaction. It can be identified by stiffness in the body, lack of energy, difficulty breathing, it is impossible to navigate and understand where to move next, lack of interest in life, various types of resistance, for example, sabotage (I will sabotage many interesting events in my life because there will be the most incomprehensible adulthood (career, relationships, travel, etc.) Finally, I would like to add that the difficulty of making choices in life has the risk of leading to codependent relationships, since a person’s tactics will often be “to join the desires of another.” And of course, I invite you to a consultation with me. .Write to WhatsApp +7 915 228 51 05 Natalya Gorelovawww.ngorelova.ru