I remembered how during a difficult time I was not myself and did not hear my feelings. And it never occurred to me to stop and remove the extra load. It’s just that sometimes there is so little strength that the brain turns off access to comprehension and saves energy in favor of physically preserving life. Because understanding yourself and rethinking anything requires free forces. What do rituals have to do with it? And despite the fact that in such situations they create the illusion of stability for us, which means the level of anxiety decreases, albeit illusory. This way the psyche can rest and correct the energy deficit. What is ritual in this context? A way to create a channel for the psyche to receive energy in the case when the balance of resources/costs in this very psyche is under threat or grossly violated. What does it look like? For example, this is the only way I say hello - and nothing else. I drink milk strictly at 17.00, taking exactly 24 sips. Either I stick to a very strict schedule - or anxiety floods me. This is also where you demand compliance with your rules from those around you. “When you get there, call (even if it’s late, if you forgot, if you’re tired, if you’re dead. I still won’t go to bed until you call). You need to obey your mother unquestioningly. First the soup, then the candy. After On a difficult day, I eat cake and take a bath with agave petals. I always buy myself a gift for successfully completing a project.” You can come up with a couple of rituals for self-support, but this is only a way to hold out for a while, and not a solution. A ritual requires precision, otherwise it can “break through” and we will be blown to atoms because of a trifle. When it is a love of order or a way of self please, and when the last support for the psyche is on fire? It’s quite easy to distinguish, I’ll draw it now: I remember that on Sundays I went to the market and bought products strictly according to the bill according to the menu compiled for the week. Everything was very balanced, verified, carefully taken into account, everything was in place in optimal conditions to preserve beneficial properties. The greens do not lie in the refrigerator - they stand in a special container, packed on top with a transparent bag, which should not touch the greens and be sealed, and all this is ranked in the refrigerator. At the same time, the greenery almost began to bloom like orchids. Portions were laid out for each day, the children had to come from school, get what they were supposed to have for a given period of time, heat it up, eat it. And one day the eldest son forgot to eat the soup. ... Here we look carefully, that’s the difference right now))... My world collapsed. The feeling that the earth was shaking under our feet, and that the world had never known worse crimes. I screamed so loudly that my son remembers this 13 years later, beware. You can even see it from the back rows, right? When rituals and their observance are the last support, the illusion of control to anesthetize the psyche, and there is no access to your feelings, then there is a violation of the ritual this access is organized at once. And “the world has collapsed” - it just burst out all at once in the sensations. But oops! It didn’t fall into awareness, but into the body and an emotional storm. Therefore, we do not conclude “it’s time to save me,” but we try with all our might to break free, to kick back into the shadows what has poured in. “If again... You won’t see... (company, friends, the light of God”). Take care of yourself.