Today's online demo session was unique for several reasons: Reason 1. I was working with a client who lives far from her son. The distance between parents and children is one of the main reasons preventing work with them to correct problematic child behavior. But today I ignored this rule of cross-coaching, because I saw the client’s very strong desire for our meeting. Reason 2. I shed tears during the demo session and I don’t hide it. During the role-playing game, I asked the client to be in the role of her child, and he himself took the role of a client (mother), who addresses her child according to the algorithm of conflict-free refusal. Both cried with her. And it feels like half the group of observers cried with us :) Reason 3. Today’s demo session did not go according to plan. I decided to put the lesson plan aside and trust the flow (which is not typical for me in the cross-coaching system) The flow was it was very stormy and the client and I were spinning around in a way that was not childish. Of course, I tried to hold on myself and keep the client afloat, but there were moments when I just felt like I was drowning (drowning). At such moments I had to quickly float to the surface and gasp for air, until it flooded again. As the work progressed, I felt a great deal of understatement and lack of information that I had to extract from the client with pincers in order to shed light on the situation and determine the direction of movement. It is precisely this (loss of reference points) that risks rejecting the given counseling algorithm that I pass on to the participants of my course in every lesson on the cross-coaching system. Colleagues, so that you don’t get drowned with a client and to stay in a given direction of work, always follow the algorithm for working with a parent. It is like a lifeline for you and the client to achieve the desired result. But today I was curious to experience this loss of guidelines myself in working with the client. How do I see the whole process... The client corresponds to the ideas of her world - “I’m a psychologist, I have two psi education and I know how to do it. And I don’t need the recommendations of another psychologist.” I immediately noted this position of the client. I also noted that the client relies on this position in her family with her son. That is, there is no mother’s position in the family (or it is minimal). ), and there is the position “I’m a psychologist” - I know how to do it. Two men successively left the client’s space: separation from her husband (another family), separation from her eldest 16-year-old son (the youngest is 10 years old with her). Such distance from close men definitely related to her role in the family. And this could be that very role of “I’m a psychologist! I must influence...” The consultation was structured in a very interesting way. The client held back her tears and seemed to allow herself to analyze her role, but... Inside myself, I noted the feeling of a wall on the part of the client (impenetrability and fanatical retention of a harmful role). By the end of the meeting, the client spoke about her feeling of lightness. I saw the position of the victim (in her words) and realized that she was holding herself back from constructive actions, choosing a position of suffering and lamentation. She thanked me for the useful consultation. I didn’t have time to ask her what she was going to do about the position of suffering in relationships with men. She came out of the video broadcast. But she continued to thank me in the chat. It’s noteworthy that we spent a long time setting up online broadcasting with this client. For technical reasons, the broadcast did not start for a long time. And based on similar signs with other clients, I interpret such technical barriers as psychological barriers, which also take place in working with clients. Very often I note that those clients who experience technical failures are online , in the process of working with a psychologist, they turn out to be either impenetrable in the position of a blank wall (“I myself know how to do it and how to do it right”) or openly or covertly resist positive changes. Today with Olga I once again saw the cross-coaching method in action. He kept me from slipping into