The reason for the lion's share of a person's mental suffering is a negative interpretation of the reality around him. That is, glitches in his head. Compare: “I was roller skating and fell on my butt three times” Or “I was roller skating and falling all the time. Sad sack. Everyone around was staring. They thought: What an idiot - he doesn’t know how to ride, but he climbs. It’s either given or not. If you drive, don’t fall, otherwise why all this? So that I can go again!!!” Another example: “I was sitting in the subway. I saw my grandmother, gave her my seat, she refused.” or “Ugh, tired. I want to sit. Look, there are a few places available. Well, are there any sick or pregnant women around? Otherwise they’ll get up in an instant. As soon as you sit down, they’re right there, as if they’re specifically looking out for you. Phew... good to sit. What if, at the next stop, grandma comes up, she might get up early. The man over there looked at me unkindly - he also wanted to sit down. I’ll close my eyes just in case... Oh, when did grandma manage to appear here? She’s probably been standing over me for a long time, dissatisfied, obviously considering me impudent. It’s already inconvenient to give up my seat and I can’t sit anymore. I'd rather give in. No need, he says, I’ll be leaving soon. Taking revenge means she doesn’t like my place. Should I sit back down? They’ll also think I’m a jumper - he sits down and gets up.” The dialogues are somewhat exaggerated, but not divorced from life. As often happens, someone steps on your foot and you think that it’s him on purpose and you get angry in response. And if not on purpose, then what kind of bad luck is this that you are the one who was stepped on and you are offended + feel injustice. Everything just happens in the world. Any event is neither bad nor good by nature - it simply is. It is our mind that makes it good or bad when it begins to interpret reality. For some reason, much more often he creates unpleasant interpretations and we immediately begin to suffer. There are many different techniques that allow you to work with negative thoughts and interpretations, but they are usually difficult to implement. Today I will tell you about a very simple practice that, if you sincerely desire to achieve clarity, will help you quickly consider any interpretation and see its illusory nature. And this, in turn, will help you see reality as it is. Stage 1. Choosing an interpretation. Everything here is quite simple. As soon as you find yourself in a negative state - you feel sadness, anger, hatred, self-pity, all you have to do is voice your thoughts. These will be the interpretations.” He deliberately throws his things everywhere. “She forgot about my birthday.” She doesn’t care about me.” He looked at me sternly. Probably angry about something. During the day, a million interpretations run through your head. Grab any one that comes to hand. It’s easier to start working with thoughts about another person, then you can sort out ideas about yourself. Interesting fact. A judgment is not just one thought. Usually, this is a conglomerate of thoughts, conjectures, considerations, interpretations, interpretations of interpretations, and so on. One thought leads to another and, sometimes, it takes a lot of effort to pull out this whole tangle that poisons your life. Stage No. 2. Questions that dispel interpretation.1. Is this true?2. Can you absolutely know that this is true?3. How do you react and feel with this thought?4. Who would you be, how would you feel without this thought? Ask 4 questions in sequence about your interpretation and answer them as sincerely and completely as possible. After each answer, you should have a clear feeling that you are telling the truth. The effect is stronger if you write down the answers. When answering the second question, write down at least 3 clear confirmations that your statement is truly true. Then ask each of them a question - can I absolutely know that this confirmation is true. Often a very unexpected result is obtained. Stage No. 3. Make a U-turn. “As is inside, so is outside” This principle is quite easy to understand with the mind, but difficult to realize and apply in your life. Let's figure it out. We understandthis world through a hundred different filters, from physiological to value-based. Our ears, eyes, skin can perceive signals from the outside world in a very limited range, otherwise the consciousness will be overloaded from an overabundance of information. We live in a specific place, where for decades, or even centuries, certain rules and traditions have been adhered to, and we look at the world through their prism - we (in Russia) drive on the right, it is considered indecent to fart at the table, and a fat moving caterpillar jerking on an oiled frying pan will cause disgust rather than a desire to eat. In addition, each person has a unique set of thousands of beliefs, thought patterns, beliefs and interpretations received from his parents, the people around him, a powerful information flow and personal experience. How such a person will perceive the world around you? Naturally, he will see from the outside what is in his head. He will look at a person and see a certain image consisting of ideas, the personal experience of the beholder, his beliefs and convictions. Interesting point. The idea that the perception of the external world is determined by the internal world is very well shown in one of the main methods of psychological defense - Projection. The main principle of projection is that we see, pay attention and endow the surrounding world with those properties that we have in ourselves, but for some reason reasons are denied by us. Why do some negative qualities of people don’t bother us (well, he’s a miser, to hell with him), while others infuriate us (I hate it when they’re stupid). As far as I see from my experience in counseling, those things that clients blame someone else for are usually present in themselves, quite clearly, but they are not noticed. There is a very cool exercise - Mirrors. Write down on a piece of paper the names of 4 fictional characters (from movies, books), or people who you really dislike. Under each of them, write down the qualities that you find particularly unpleasant. Turn the paper over. Now write down 4 characters that you would like to be like, respect, and hold to a high standard. Under each, write down the positive qualities inherent in each of them. The point of the exercise is that those qualities that you consider disgusting in others are present in you here and now in some form, but you do not accept them and therefore do not see them. Those qualities that you really value in other people also exist in you, but for some reason you think that you don’t yet possess them, so you don’t see them. There are many interesting takeaways from the exercise, but I started this whole topic to describe the last stage of the practice: Turnaround. In the previous stages, you identified an interpretation and unraveled it with the help of four questions. All that remains is to collect the cream - to turn reality in the direction of the one looking at it. The reversal is done as follows. You take your interpretation and unfold its meaning as your intuition tells you. There are several ways to turn around - let's look at a specific example proposed by one of the readers of my blog. My husband is cheating on me. A turn is a deep mirroring of the meaning. If initially we see some image of the situation, then a reversal helps us see it from a completely different side, and sometimes this side is much more truthful than the original one. Any element of interpretation can be expanded. The first thing that came to my mind: I’m cheating on myself. As soon as you have the option of a reversal inside you, you need to very quietly listen to yourself and ask yourself the question - maybe this is true? Here the mind can immediately get involved and start defending you, throwing up arguments . The mind is not needed now, you need to listen to your feelings, to your heart. And if you feel that there is some ring of truth in this statement, ask yourself the following question: What evidence can I give that this is true? How do I cheat on myself? It’s good if you have 3-4 such proofs. The work described is very subtle and deep. Here you can easily slip into formal practice, playing with your mind. If this happens, you will feel it immediately. But if you do everything.