On the one hand, everything is simple, with the help of “Yes” we express our agreement with something or to something. And we say “No” when we take a different position or refuse something. You know this without me. But in practice, this simple scheme often does not work. Sometimes it is not so easy to agree or say “No”. But today we’ll talk about refusals. Situations are very common when we cannot afford to say “No.” For example, if your boss offers to work on the weekend, and you have plans, even just to relax. And then the intensified thought process begins. How to refuse? How will the boss take this? Will he pay me a bonus at the end of the quarter? What if he fires you? Or if a friend asked for help, but it’s not convenient to refuse. Thoughts from the series “Now I’ll refuse, and then he will…” also come into my head. And undesirable options for possible developments began to appear. Difficulties with refusal are associated with two factors: First. Inability to make a choice. It's difficult when you don't know what's best for you. And this indicates that you do not know yourself. And then the person is overcome by doubts. Moreover, any decision he makes causes him anxiety. He tries to change his mind all the time. The main reason for this condition is fear of the consequences of one's actions. A person is frightened by the thought that he will not be able to cope with these consequences, whatever they may be. Second. Fear of rejection. The person’s thoughts in this case sound like this: “If I say “No,” then they will refuse me, which means I will again be left alone, useless to anyone.” He is waiting for someone significant and important to him to leave him. And this experience is so unbearable that he is ready to sacrifice his interests, just not to experience it again. However, the inability to refuse leads to the fact that a person does not live his life. He doesn't do what he likes or cares about. He surrounds himself with people who don’t really need him, and he doesn’t need them either. As a result, a person lives a life full of pain and endless expectation that something unbearable will happen and he will be left alone.