From the author: Attention, I invite participants to the webinar “BETRAYAL: who is who?” – hurry to sign up for FREE! Often successful women, wonderful in every sense, whose beloved man has left me, turn to me for advice. What conclusions do I recommend that representatives of the fair half of humanity draw for themselves? Today I will share them with you. If we turn to folklore, we will come across advice that loving a man and surrendering to the will of your feelings is the path to suffering. In fact, the path to suffering is to be afraid to love and avoid relationships and intimacy. Often, disillusioned women, with an unsettled personal life or a husband whom they do not love, convey to their children the message that they cannot love and cannot open their hearts, that they will take advantage of this: use and offend. Often such children, growing up, try to earn the love of their chosen one. They may not realize that they are trying to do everything they can in order to prove worthy of love, so that their loved one begins to appreciate them for what they do for him. This is a trap - sooner or later they will face betrayal in one form or another and resentment at the injustice of how the man they have benefited from treats them. So in the song given in the epigraph there are words that “gave herself completely.” This is the rub. Giving yourself completely, dissolving in another person, starting to live as a man - this is NOT LOVE, but love addiction. In order to solve all the issues discussed in the introductory part to this round table, it is important to learn to distinguish between love addiction and love ; and also work on yourself in order to learn to love yourself. Because a woman does not feel valuable enough to be loved as she is, because she does not fully accept herself and there is a desire to serve, please, dissolve in her supposedly love for others. The way out is to learn to love and accept yourself. And then love for a man will be a gift for the sake of giving. Women often rush from the extreme to change and remake a man, to the extreme that once you love, it means you have to endure everything. This is wrong. One of the main axioms on which psychotherapy is based is the client’s acceptance that he actually doesn’t owe anyone anything. This does not mean that everyone will suddenly become selfish. Not at all, on the contrary, removing the shackles of obligation and obligation inspires a person to invest his resources in loved ones and close people, to give for the sake of giving. Everything that I wrote about accepting a loved one without trying to change him is true only on the condition that you chose a man/woman initially, to your liking, the one with whom you feel good and the way he is now. Unfortunately, this does not happen often, because for such a choice there must be a place for love in the heart. Alas, and ah, a place for love in the heart of a person who hopes that his chosen soulmate will become better over time - in him this place in his heart is occupied by an unexperienced, unprocessed LIFE EXPERIENCE of a negative connotation... People tend to look for love as a cure for of unfulfilled love that was previously encountered. It will definitely not bring happiness to such lovers to endure and forgive everything to the chosen one. Moreover, if you are waiting for some progress on the part of your other half, then you need to NOT endure, but do exactly the opposite: set your own rules. Only then will there be a chance that your significant other will realize that something doesn’t suit you. But this is already more difficult than if you initially chose someone with whom you feel good and someone from whom you do not expect him to improve and come to his senses; will understand what he can lose; will stop being lazy, drinking, beating, being jealous, cheating; He will grow up and so on and so forth. Don’t waste time looking for something you don’t know from men. The reason for every difficulty in life is not that the world is somehow different, men today are not the same, no - the reason is that it is inside the woman herself. Look deep within yourself and answer honestly, you/