Projections like a mirror. When a person looks at a person, it often happens that people do not see each other, but meet themselves. People look at each other like this and don’t see who’s next to them. And they see themselves or their fantasies. The same thing happens in raising children. Parents look at their children and family, and arrive in their picture of the world, and not in reality. They see what they can see or want to see. Based on their own pictures of the world, they conduct dialogues and build relationships. This is such an illusion of reality. While working with one of my clients, I encountered such an illusory perception. This work was carried out in the Parent University training, so we will talk about the perception of the family through the eyes of this brave woman. The client was able to boldly look at her attitude towards the child, and at her fantasies regarding the situation that arose between her and her baby. The projective technique helped to see a certain reality, but first a projection onto reality, which came from the client’s internal tension. The instructions for the technique were to draw what -an object or animal, and designate family members at parts of this object. This is what happened in this work. As we can see, this is a butterfly. The butterfly itself is the client’s child, and the parents are depicted on the wings. On the one hand, our client is with her partner, on the other hand, the child’s father, with his new family. In analyzing the work and clarifying the real picture, this is what they were able to understand. The child was delegated the most important role. It should be noted that the child is still small - preschool age. And he has such a difficult role - ensuring vital functions. The function is not at all age appropriate. And one might also think that since all adults are a pattern on their wings, the function of adults is a kind of support for movement and mimicry on the one hand, and manipulation on the other hand. Still, the butterfly flaps its wings, and the wings are not the butterfly. Wherever the butterfly wants, it will fly. What is happening? What kind of roles are these in the family? Clarifying the situation with the client, it turned out that the child extremely rarely uses manipulation, exactly as much as any other child. That there is no such total manipulation in this family on the part of the child, as one might initially think. It also turned out that, yes, parents protect the child from all sides and wish him the best. At the same time, the boy himself does not have a dominant function in the family. So where did this drawing come from? As it turned out later, the mother was afraid of losing her child, and she gave him the role of a manipulator, partly in order to be good for him, so that he would stay with her and not go anywhere. The brave woman was able to examine her attitude and the actions she took. Her fear guided her reality. The projection through the prism with which she looked at her son distorted her perception. So the projective technique helped to examine the distortion. This story has its own small continuation. The wise kid saw the drawing, and a dialogue took place with his mother, during which he did not agree with his position in the picture. It's amazing how children feel. But the child’s world was not distorted by the mother’s fear, so his reality did not overlap with the drawing. Sensitivity and courage help us see many of our projections. Good job, showing openly how people can perceive their world. We invite you to the training "Parent University". Other articles on the topic: - Children are like a mirror - A good enough mother - Who lives where in the house?