The problem of female violence, not only sexual, but also psychological, remains one of the most complex and pressing in modern society. The world community is changing, a course towards liberalization has been taken, but man remains a man. And human dignity, potential and opportunities go hand in hand with deforming attitudes, inert views, unsatisfied ambitions... In this article we will consider the option of female violence (not sexual!) and ways out of the state of “victim”. Several girls over the course of a month They turned to me for help completely exhausted, exhausted as a result of constant conflicts with loved ones. Yes, they stand out somewhat from their environment - subtle, sublime, in general, philosophical girls... Hence the problems in relationships with people, starting from early childhood. Childhood psychotrauma received as a result of family quarrels and discord, in which they were either a “victim” or an observer, led to the emergence of a fear of conflicts. “I’d rather remain silent. I’d rather not interfere. I’m afraid when people shout at me. Sometimes if I say something in my own defense, they might even hit me...” And at the same time, “I continue to trust people. My relatives insult me, I get offended, I don’t talk, but I can’t be offended for a long time. It is important for me that there is peace in the family and I forgive everything and continue to believe them...”. This is the leitmotif of their socio-psychological role. But the grievances are not worked through, they are swallowed by the girls like a piece of ice cream with an unpleasantly cutting aftertaste, thus, without a proper way out of the conflict, even without an apology from the offenders. Self-esteem also suffers - girls see themselves as ugly and unattractive. Girls are overly shy and vulnerable to criticism. “My mom always gives me advice that makes me not even want to go outside. As soon as I put on makeup, my mom says, are you plastered like a prostitute again? I really don’t know how to use makeup. And when I’m going to go somewhere without makeup, mom screams that I’m scary..." says one girl. “I have absolutely no feeling that I am a person! I’m like a parasitic organism in a family in which everyone lives by their own rules and standards. I’ll start sharing my thoughts with them about the book I’ve read, and they’ll say, “Stop being smart!” Parasite!" complains another girl, a student. "I'm looking for work all the time under stress. Because my parents shout at me that no one needs me at any enterprise, that I’m a loser... And every time I come to an interview, I remember their words and I feel bad..." "What kind of relationship is this? ! I have a fear of men! It just seems to me how they all laugh at me, that I’m not like that...", - as if in unison, the third girl with a similar psycho-emotional picture, like the two previous clients, picks up. Of course, each of us is unique and original, therefore The recommendations were based on individual and personal qualities. However, the exercise for developing self-awareness became common to all girls. On one sheet of paper write “I am a Man!”, on the second “I am a Personality!”, on the third “I am a Woman!” In this case, under each entry, designate two columns, the first column will be called “Human values ​​that I have”, the second “Human values ​​that I do not have”; The second sheet will also be divided into two columns, one of which will be called “My actions”. and actions that develop me as a Personality,” and the second, “Personal qualities that I need.” The third sheet is drawn up according to the same scheme. The first column is “What makes me a Woman,” the second is “What prevents me from feeling like a Woman.” This should look like something like this: Thus, the girls fill out each column. It is clear that each girl has her own ideas. This exercise actually introduces the girl to herself and gives impetus to the development of self-awareness necessary for understanding and accepting herself. This exercise can be used both as homework and directly for!