In a quarrel, only the one who took part in it is to blame. Any quarrel is a clash of interests of different people. It is impossible to do without quarrels or, in other words, conflicts. Well, it's impossible to satisfy everyone at the same time. Each person has his own needs, desires and dreams, which may not coincide with the needs and desires of another person and may even be completely opposite to him. However, conflict can be beneficial for personality and relationship development. So how can you get out of a quarrel with dignity? First, let’s figure out what reasons influence the onset and development of quarrels. The first thing I want to pay attention to is the influence of human typology. Probably everyone has heard about the division of people into auditory, visual and kinesthetic learners. Let me remind you a little about them: auditory learners perceive the world through sounds, visual learners – through images, kinesthetic learners – through body sensations. Of course, there are no pure types; this is rather about the priority of perception. How does all this affect conflicts among people? Very simple. If an unpleasant sound is heard from the street, then the auditory one will react most strongly to it, if the curtains are hanging ugly - the visual one, and for the kinesthetic learner, choosing comfortable clothes will be a priority over beautiful ones. For example, in a family, when choosing fabric for a sofa, a quarrel may arise: for the kinesthetic, the texture of the fabric will be important, what it feels like, for the visual, the color will be important, for the auditory, perhaps, it won’t even matter what kind of fabric it is. Such a conflict will not have a solution as long as everyone achieves their own, without trying to understand their loved one, but with a completely different perception of the world, a person. The only way out is to find a solution that will satisfy both. And this is just one example of dividing a person into typologies. In fact, there are so many of them that they cannot be mentioned in one article. All conflicts are divided into emotional, value-based and substantive. Emotional and value conflicts actually have no solution. If one person likes blue and another likes red, this is an emotional conflict. It is impossible to prove to each other that his color is better. One can only accept that my husband or wife likes the color blue. A value conflict is a clash of different value systems. For example, in her family they treat a woman very kindly, constantly take care of her, give flowers and gifts, but in his family this is considered a waste of time and money. Once married, they may have conflicts over his attitude towards her. The wife will accuse her husband of being heartless, but the whole point is that in his family relationships with the opposite sex are structured differently. An attempt to devalue someone else's value system will lead to nothing, only to the appearance of an enemy. Such a system is created throughout a person’s life; it is influenced by parents, school, friends, and books. The only thing you can do is talk about your values ​​in detail without belittling your opponent's system. Perhaps he will hear you and accept part of it. The main thing is no violence! Any violence causes a negative reaction, which also interferes with the resolution of conflict situations. A substantive conflict always has some kind of interest: material or intangible. A person has a specific need and strives to achieve it. For example, one of the partners wants to buy a Renault car, and the other wants to buy a Hyundai. Or parents think that they need to enter a medical university, but their son wants to become a civil engineer. Such a conflict can be resolved if we jointly study all the pros and cons, according to the list below. But here it is important to leave emotions aside, otherwise an ordinary choice can develop into a value or emotional conflict. And these types of conflicts, as we have already understood, have no solution. So, the stages of resolving conflict situations: 1. Determine the purpose of the conflict. What do you want to achieve as a result? Because if the goal is simply to prove that you are right, then you can yell until you lose your voice and achieve nothing.2. Prepare a list with the merits of your goal. Get them interested/.