Recently I caught myself thinking that I could make a great horror film that might become a cult film. It would be based on stories from adults about how they interacted with food as children. Or rather, how their parents taught or forced them to interact with food. To this day, some adults’ blood runs cold at the word “soup” and a panic attack begins when they say “mom made soup.” At what point does eating become torture for a child and war for a parent? Is it possible to prevent, recognize and stop this? Overprotection, neurosis or “I know better” are the first to come to the rescue if you need to quickly teach a child to turn off his feelings and stop trusting his feelings. Children very easily go into the “I trust my mother more” phase. she knows better." Knows when it's cold, when I'm thirsty, when I'm hungry, and when I'm eating tasty food, and whether the porridge is hot or not. And indeed, she blew my porridge every day for so long, for several months. I was a doula, but I still didn’t understand that sometimes a child can still be hot, and sometimes he eats because he wants to please. Over time, the child grows into an adult who does not know how to recognize hunger, and that one should always eat with appetite. Caring is wonderful, but sooner or later, each of us is faced with hot porridge. But not all of us know how to behave in such circumstances. I hope you understand my metaphor. Sometimes it’s worth letting go of the situation and letting everything happen naturally, let children learn to recognize body signals, learn to recognize emotions and manage them. And the sooner this happens, the faster adaptation to a world full of surprises will occur. And the function of the parent in this case is the ability to guide and support. Explain and show, in other words: teach the child to blow and give him the spoon at the right moment. Namely, when he is emotionally mature to do so. Force feeding. Many of my patients have stories of food refusal in early childhood. And because none of the adults wanted to understand the reasons, feeding turned into torture with food. “Eat the soup, otherwise I’ll pour it out” - and they poured it out “until you’ve finished eating, you won’t leave the table” - and they didn’t leave until vomiting appeared in the porridge “I’ll pour this pasta down your collar” - yes, that’s where they ended up. What happens next, refusal of new food, avoidance of meals, very inventive ways to get rid of food on the plate. For example, give it to the dog, throw it out the window, pour it into the sink. In general, secrecy develops and anxiety increases. And what is very important, bodily boundaries are broken. After all, when food is forced into you, over time you mistake it for nomu. And you carry this through your whole life. Let it first concern feeding, then it develops into something else, violent, because a person has not learned to trust himself, his feelings and his body, he is forbidden to say no, even when he really wants to... And here we are Let's move on to issues of the sexual sphere, it would seem. But everything is interconnected. First, the mother uses the child’s body to relieve her anxiety: “my child doesn’t eat anything! “I’m a bad mother!”, negative emotions turn on, and then... Screams, coercion, tears, the plate is empty, mom feels better! The child is fed, hurray! But at what cost!? Everything in life begins with an analysis of thoughts and emotions. The ability to look at events rationally greatly simplifies life. Makes us more aware. And if we want to change our attitude towards something, we need to be able to analyze. If we want our children to be more attentive to themselves, to be able to listen to their desires and emotions, we must teach them. Organize the space around the child in such a way that they have more freedom of choice. And remember that you also learn from mistakes. And even though now they will be childish, but the analysis of mistakes that a child will learn is one of the most useful tools of adult life. A child will not be afraid of new things if he encounters them more often. Will not.