From the author: About sexuality, from experience...A girl is faced with the problem of lack of sexual interest in a man, there is no sexual desire and attraction. There can be a lot of reasons. In this article I want to consider the case of a “careerist.” I called a careerist a girl for whom professional self-realization is just as important as family and personal life. And sometimes it is even more important than partnerships. When such a girl starts a family, she falls into a trap if she does not have a high level of awareness. A man by nature strives to suppress and eliminate competition. He does this in different ways. The most ideal, safest option for him: when a woman is on maternity leave, takes care of their common child, family affairs. For a woman, all this can bring a lot of pleasure, especially “in the first place.” But little by little, unnoticed, discomfort, low mood, and lethargy appear. For this condition, the girl experiences a feeling of guilt - after all, she should be happy with the child. One of the symptoms is a decrease or complete absence of libido. What's the matter?1. Physiology. A small child means physical and emotional fatigue; after childbirth, hormonal changes continue, affecting the state and mood.2. Dissatisfaction with one of the basic needs. And this need is for professional self-realization. A careerist girl needs it as much as she needs a relationship with her husband and child. She needs balance. The complete inability to work causes a state of frustration and stress. If you ignore this condition, depression begins. When a need is not satisfied for a long time, a protective mechanism of the psyche is very often triggered: the brain “turns off” this need, eliminates the desire, and stops this impulse. But it is impossible to split here. Professional fulfillment is directly related to creativity, and this is the energy of libido. It gives rise not only to sexuality, but also to everything related to creativity: raising children, relationships with men, cooking, housekeeping, and of course sex. By stopping the creative impulse in one place, a girl blocks it completely. There is only one “switch”. And it works like this: I can’t want a job now, I don’t have the opportunity for it. Which means I don't want to. DON'T WANT. Nothing. The girl continues, perhaps even outwardly, to run the household and take care of the child as usual... But she stops taking care of herself, looking for excuses to refuse her husband. And even if she agrees, pleasure is not available to her. This can even manifest itself physically: the sensitivity of the genitals, the secretion of the genital organs are impaired, pain and other unpleasant symptoms may appear, which only contribute to a decrease in sexual activity. Quarrels, resentments, and omissions begin. She herself cannot really explain what happened. What to do? The first step to healthy sexuality is awareness of the problem. If your libido is closely connected with the professional sphere, if you understand that being a mother is far from your only calling, desire and skill. If you block or stop any of your needs, you need to deal with it. Don't ignore! Notice. Let it show. Second step. Work to establish balance in life. The most common mistake in this case is to give birth to a second/third, generally subsequent child. Facing internal conflict can be scary. The girl is trying to completely suppress within herself something that is scary to resolve. She tries to “forget” her career. By the way, the body often tries to tell a girl “hey, you’re doing the wrong thing!” It’s suddenly impossible to get pregnant. (Although, of course, this is one option, it will not necessarily be so.) Raising children is a creative process. And the libido is stopped, remember? “What pregnancy? I can't!" - says the body. The second option is if pregnancy does occur. Then the girl really finds herself in a cage. Caged in your fears and unexpressed desires. Fatigue…